what you guys have taught me

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this idea, but I think I should start working on identifying what all my friends have given to me, or taught me.  Lots of my friends do not...overlap...so to speak.  not that they wouldn't like each other, and believe me, on rare occasions when people from one part of my life have met another, who knew me in a different time, very cool things happen.  

Bear with me.  this is an idea, not a finished product.  

...But it's a start.  What I've learned from my friends:   (so far...I have amazing people in my life; this is just the beginning.)

1. Do not waste.  If it means cutting the lotion jar to scoop out the remains, or using a toothpick to get the lip balm out, that's ok.  But do not waste. 

2.  Don't brood.  Things are hard and suck frequently, but this is not what daily living is all about. Focus on here and now and activites that are positive. 

3. Think really good things about other people, even when and ESPECIALLY when they are being jerks, being selfish, being weird or being deceiving.  Nothing good has come from mean thoughts, ever.  

4.  Enthusiastic attitute and a simple holding of hands can turn a day from real bad to real...good. 

5. When someone leaves food in a dish at your house, return it with something thoughtful in it.  Just don't return it empty! 

6. People that come back into your life in odd ways really need to stay in your life.  Pay attention.

7.  Love your parents.  Time is precious. 

8.  Forgive.  Don't hold on to old bad stuff; it's stifling and harmful to you.  

9. Share and don't expect back.  Give and you'll be surprised.  

10. Tell them how you feel, every chance you get.  "I love you" doesn't fade with iterations; it adds to your core, and to the recipient's.  

More at a later time.  Thank you. 

they gave me bookmarks

When I was a kid, I decided I liked pigs.  Not pigs on a farm necessarily, but cute sweet stuffed animal pigs.  I guess I noted that one Christmaslistmaking season. For the next...ten years I got some form of some pig for every birthday and Christmas.  By the time I was in high school, I had to ask my family, politely (I thought, but who knows how it came out) to please stop giving me pigs. I had stuffed pigs, ceramic pigs, glass pigs, a pig door stop...

 for a long time, people gave me bookmarks.  I never used them, but I collected them and liked to hold them and stare. Like stickers -- more useful, but I always ended up dog-earring my book pages or cracking the spine and letting the book I was reading fall to the floor beside my bed.

I used to read a lot when I was younger, and I've let life get in the way-- I'm only to blame, yes, and I don't read as much as I'd like to report.  

I found three bookmarks tonight, and shoved two into books I'm currently reading.  it was kind of fun.  One has a quote about being nice to people, the other says "snap out of it."  good advice for me.

Welcome 2009! Here's to a non boring but very good peaceful year.  ah ha!  

standing downwind of the dog

I always thought of myself as a "pretty good" person, good as in mostly nice to people, pretty much doing the rightest thing at the time. But, who's to really say? We all think we're good, and usually that's judged by the things we do, rather than the things we don't do. But does avoiding "doing" cancel out the good that we actually accomplish? Meaning, if there's something you should be doing because it's right or good or helpful or decent, and you avoid it or ignore it or act lazy or make another sandwich and take a nap in your bathrobe, does that take away from your good quotient?



I recently had a minor fit of anger at another person's competitive nature, stalker-like sensibilities and thinly-veiled jealous streak so often aimed in my direction. I try to hope those things don't bother me, but they do, I am...human, and I also have a mean gene I try to suppress most of the time. I expressed a desire to somehow strike back, to virtually shove something back in Other Person's face. My fiancee quietly mentioned that he had recently adopted a "do no harm" philosophy and suggested I perhaps try something similar.



Hmm.



He does have a way of shutting me up. Sometimes. This new "do no harm" thing reminded me of a plan I had a few years back...trying always to do the next "rightest" thing. I guess I forgot about it somewhere along the way.



So I found myself in one of those situations where the right thing to do is the hard thing, which is keep my mouth shut, smile and redirect my energy. Every time I take Grace the dog outside for her PT (that's personal time -- she'd really doesn't like going in the yard; would prefer more privacy) I am reminded of how not in control I am. No matter where I stand, it seems the wind always blows past her towards me, making for a full-fledged sensory experience. Conversely, when we're lucky enough to have the time and the mind to make a choice, that's something for which to be thankful.

October, 2007

Somewhere along Route 58, the tomato fell away from my windshield and I didn't even notice it. After a couple of Guinesses while doing our "budget" the night before, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to throw partially-ripe tomatoes at my car in our driveway. It was funny, actually. Emphasis on was. Not so much fun in the morning when I had to spend precious seconds getting the sticky seedy flesh off my car. The only chunk I left was beyond my windshield wiper's reach and far too gross to touch. I was pleased to see my new-job-can't-be-late panic driving helped clean my car. I work at a school in a very wealthy community, and shudder every afternoon when I head outside to start my five-year-old VW Golf. While the car appears ok, it has the unfortunate and unfixable defect of spewing smoke out its exhaust every time I start the engine. Each afternoon I plan my exit from the parking lot very carefully. I ensure the least amount of people are nearby, then turn the key in the ignition and drive as fast as possible without making myself conspicuous, to the first speed bump on the long driveway. After successfully making it over each speed bump without something falling off my car, such as the muffler, I race to the next one, until I reach safe anonymity: the main road. All I need to add to my image is driving a car that looks like it's been booed off stage.

stuck in a dress

Dress shopping is never easy. I'm sure, even for those girls out there who are size 4. Well, maybe they have it a little easier. Part of the frustration and the build-up to exhaustion is the constant undressing and redressing. Bringing in two sizes of the same dress. Trudging from store to store, sometimes even purchasing garments that will only be returned...later that day. The only thing that makes the experience worse, for me, is being alone. Since purchases like dresses are made by me rarely these days, I try to secure a shopping partner ahead of time. Someone to give me honesty and encouragement. A trustworthy soul far more reliable than fair-weather salespeople. A friend who says "Don't give up."

A friend who can pry me out of a dress.

Now, I've been stuck in mud (lost my shoes) stuck on a hill (16 years old driving a stick shift) stuck in myriad awkward social situations (I'm a magnet for those), even stuck in a sports bra (from which I sliced myself free).

But being stuck in a dress is different story.

You would think one would learn this life lesson: if the dress is difficult to put on, beware when attempting to remove it. Many dresses today go over the head, but have a convenient side zipper. The physics escapes me (actually, I've never had any physics to lose) but somehow that side zipper helps with the on and off process.

As I attempted to remove an ill-fitting dress last weekend, the sick sensation that I was trapped slowly came over me. After several tries, I had managed to position the dress partially up over my head, and to make a long story short (too late) my arms were stuck. Up. Both of them. I stood in the pleasantly-lit dressing room, my face pressed up against the top of my left arm as well as the Retro Patterned Silk Shift I had the gall to think I could not only wear to an event, but remove from my body without scissors. I stood quietly, pondering my life. I had a limited budget, very little time, and no shopping friend from whom to humbly seek aid. The smell of new fabric and fear filled my senses.

I won't leave you hanging any longer. I am not still wearing that dress right now. It only took a few more pulls and the sound of one stitch giving ever so slightly.

But hey, that loose stitch just might save the next shopper from spontaneous dress entrapment, and a whole lot of uninvited introspection.