cautious reflection

Happy New Year! 2010. Weird.

But seriously, never have I been happier to see a year go away as I am to see 2009 end.

If you ask me, I could callously answer you that 2009 sucked big time for me. And I have, in different ways, loudly made this clear. But, I have to be honest: to say nothing good happened in 2009 would be a lie; sure. Lots of good things happened. A little dog named Levi came into my life. I found out, the hard way, who my true friends were. I got closer to my family, especially my parents. I realized what the break in my palm's "life line" actually meant (it's called "new start, for reals"). I learned independence doesn't just occur, but is something that grows over time. I wrote more than I wrote the year before. (Some good stuff, actually.) I read a lot more and learned new avenues for learning (just go with that one). And I actually saw a glimpse of a healthy me; a ME who hasn't surfaced in about...five years. Turning the glimpse into a constant is the next step.

Part of me feels like all this 2009 reflection crap should have been taken care of by 11:59pm on 12/31/09. But I guess one thing I've realized over the past ten years is I take a little longer than I expect to reflect on things, and in turn, DO something about that reflection. I knew when I studied abroad in Salzburg, Austria in 1999 that I wouldn't fully be able to write about the experience until years later. I had the awareness to realize what I couldn't realize at the time, but what I knew in my head and spirit I would realize over time. Realize. Thesaurus, anyone?

Anyway, I'm happy to have this place to write. We'll see where it goes. Having your life completely thrown off course and have the crap kicked out if it is something I'm sure not everyone has the privilege of experiencing, so I should be thankful if not boastful. OK pushing it a bit...

It just took me five minutes to figure out how to spell privilege. Small victories.

Other things for 2009: use coupons to buy new desk chair (mine died), take more pictures and post them, work on upper body strength, eat more vegetables, write a manuscript of a really messed up kid's life, start playing guitar again, write down my family history, run more than three miles (at a time), find new ways to break grammar rules and get away with it. sounds like FUN sign me up!