honestly

I'm looking forward to a point where I can say: Gee, look at my past year! How I have accomplished and thrived! (My brain wants to write thriven, but we'll move on.) Lots of bloggers I see do this sort of thing. My recollection of the past year would move some to tears, other to nausea, and others still to eating themselves into a coma. I do not want to harm my readers, and it is with this I say, how about I just not mention last year!

Which leads me to now. It's a Tuesday night, and I always claim that a week is much better once one is IN it. Anticipation is a killer; see my thoughts on Sunday Nights. Even Monday nights are such a relief: You're back to school / work / what you do / and you can't turn back. You're in a program and programs save you from procrastination and indecision...something that can take the brightest kid down a notch. Or three.

Of course, not everyone works M-F 9-5 blah-blah. But everyone has a personal "Sunday night." When whatever freedom, in whatever temporary form, had presented itself on-- hopefully a repeating basis-- is about to end. And the only solution to this anxiety is jumping off the dock.

I'm terrified of jumping into water. My nieces and nephews have had to almost literally push me off docks on our family vacations. My relationship with swimming in any way, shape or form has been spotty at best. I think (OK, I know) I made it to "Intermediate" in whatever the hell swimming crap I was signed up with when I was little. After that, I buried myself in...anything but. Then by the time I was a sorta-adult, I was able to float, bob, hang out, chat, tread water, be social...just not swim per se. I got away with it for quite some time. I have made peace with it, and clearly I'm writing about it now, so, Hey World: I suck at Swimming! You were right about me in 7th grade! BUT, the jumping is the more important point.

When that anxiety of The Next Thing occurs, I have found it's best to hold my breath and jump in. Not altogether reckless (although there's a time and a place for recklessness; we'll get to that later) but at least some semblance of awareness + OKAY. You'll. Be. Fine.

Here's where a pithy ending would work. But we all need cliffhangers.